‘Bug fix’ is not an update. Develop your app voice.

As someone who deals regularly in apps, I’ve seen quite a few in my day.

I’ve dealt with my share of crappy apps.

That were buggy and jankalicious.

Jankalicious: the condition of being inferior or dilapidated.

Chock full of unnecessary features and functions.

Or just downright useless.

On the flip side, I’ve beheld loads of well designed apps.

That seamlessly blend form with function.

Buttons and navigation built with adult humans in mind.

And not wee-fingered halflings.

And don’t require a PhD or savant to figure out how to use them.

But both good and bad apps have something in common.

Every once in a while, they require a fix.

Or an update to improve speed or performance.

Or a tweak to make them more compatible with an updated OS.

I’m sure you’ve noticed the counter in the top right corner of the App Store icon on your iPhone.

Alerting you to updates available for the apps you’re rocking.

If you’re like me, you ‘Update All’ without thinking about it.

The behavior is so rote by now, that most of us don’t read the ‘What’s New’ copy accompanying any of these releases.

We take it for granted that we need whatever the update is.

So we download it.

We’re not going to spend the precious few seconds required to read what the update is actually for.

Before my Jailbreak, I’d ‘update all’ without a moment’s hesitation.

I typically ignored the ‘What’s New’ text, which (should have) spelled out what was bundled in the update.

Usually, it was some generic ‘Bug fixes’ language that gave no further info about the nature and extent of the fix.

But since it was a fix…

Today, though, I broke with tradition and read the ‘What’s New’ section.

I wanted to see what tinkering was taking place under the hood.

There were three updates: HopStop (Transit Directions for iPhone), Square (Register) and Basecamp (Official App).

I was curious to see which of these brands used their update to provide comprehensive information about how their app was being improved or what exactly it was they had fixed.

And who was just faking the funk.

HopStop was, by far, the most informative.

Not only did they tell me exactly what was new, but also that I’d need to upgrade to iOS 6+ in order to take advantage of the new features.

Basecamp was the next most informative.

Their ‘What’s New’ update informed me about support for Basecamp Classic (it’s about time!), and had a few quick blurbs about the specific bug fixes included in the version.

Square the least informative.

Their’s was the bland ‘various bug fixes.’

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Square, you make me sick.

Most brands are like Square and completely miss the opportunity to truly inform their users about what’s going on.

Their’s is usually a cut-and-paste job of some developer’s uninsightful version-controlled update republished to their users.

It’s rubbish.

Now, when I see ‘Bug fixes’ as an update, I automatically think ‘lazy brand’.

Best practices dictates that when there’s an update to your app, you provide the salient details of that update to your users.

‘Bug fixes’ is simply too generic to be useful.

If a user was experiencing a bug with your app and got that update, there would be no way for them to determine whether your ‘Bug fix’ was the one they’d observed or something entirely different.

More importantly, it completely flubs the chance to connect with the user and turn them into informed brand evangelists.

So <brand who uses ‘Various bug fixes’ to describe updates to your app> know that you’re doing yourself a grave disservice by not providing more substantive updates.

Don’t your users deserve more?

Note: I’ve got to give credit to one of my pseudonymous colleagues, Mr. Kate Moss, who urged me to write this point to address something we routinely observe.

The 48 Laws of Power. Recess edition.

Note: This post is long and rambling. I have nothing really to say. So I will bore you with a story about my children to provide fodder for my blog. Read on at your discretion.

I just gave my 11 year old daughter, Asha Ming, The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene.

Why?

Well here goes.

Last night my wife told me she had received a call from the Northeast guidance counselor earlier that day.

Even though three of our children attend Northeast, I knew immediately who it was.

Asha Ming.

What did she do now?

Apparently she had called a boy an ‘idiot’ and…

He ratted to the teacher’s aide…

Who notified the teacher…

Who brought in the guidance counselor…

Who called Chanel…

Who is now telling me.

When questioned further, Asha Ming claimed it was in retaliation for said boy attempting to trip her.

You trip me, I call you idiot.

Sounds about right.

All rather tame stuff.

Kids will be kids after all.

But then, the wife told me about how Asha Ming flipped the script.

The counselor (in an attempt to determine Asha’s motivations), asked how things were at home.

Realizing that she might really be in trouble, she saw her opportunity to turn things in her favor.

Imagine my surprise to hear that Asha Ming broke down crying.

Revealing (to the counselor) how sad she was because mommy and daddy work too much.

And how we’re never home.

That daddy doesn’t come home until 10 o’clock at night.

Now the counselor is all in.

The concern for Asha’s mean-spirited behavior, turned to concern for Asha Ming’s mental health (and the conditions in the Chukumba household).

She was a guidance counselor, after all.

But I knew, immediately, as wifey recounted the story, that old girl was being played.

Those were elephant tears.

A deflection.

The whole event was orchestrated.

For maximum effect.

Yes. My wife and I both work.

But Chanel sees the kids off in the morning (we both do actually).

And is home to pick them up off the bus after school.

I get home, routinely, at 6:15.

On occasion, a business obligation will keep me out late.

But I regularly tuck the kids in at night.

We take family trips, eat out, go to the movies, eat dinner together at the dining room table, etc.

We both agree that Asha Ming will receive a talking to.

Last night, we pulled Asha Ming aside and asked her about her day.

Whenever there’s a tag team, these kids know the jig is up.

And last night was no exception.

Me: Why are we here?

Child: Because I got in trouble at school.

Me: What did you do?

Child: I called Taj a name.

Me: What have we told you about being mean or insulting other people.

Child: Not to do it.

Me: So why did you?

Child: Because he tripped me.

The wife wasn’t down with this linear line of questioning.

It all sounded a tad…rehearsed.

So she changed it up.

Wifey: Tell me about Taj.

Child: Taj?

Wifey: Does he bother you often?

Child: Uh huh.

Wifey: What does he do?

Child: He’s always trying to trip me.

Is this a crush?

Wifey: Well what was he doing that you called him an idiot?

Child: He was catching snowflakes.

Catching snowflakes?

Child: And I didn’t call him an idiot. I said he was idiotic.

Pardonne moi!

I had heard enough.

Apparently, Taj had been Asha Ming’s target for some time.

She had been waging a steady psychological campaign.

And yesterday was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

She broke poor Taj down to the point that he was crying – CRYING!

Trying to catch snowflakes with his mouth was all that it took to draw Asha Ming’s ire and condemnation.

I imagined this innocent child frolicking in the newly fallen snow, mouth agape, skyward, waiting for the gentle flakes to land upon his tongue…

And Asha Ming cooly (cruelly?) sizing him up, waiting for the precise moment to let her caustic barb fly.

In a moment of profound realization, I knew that Asha Ming was not to be trifled with.

So why did I give an 11 year old the 48 Law of Power?

Because she manipulates people with such deft and skill…

At 11…

That I must cultivate this talent.

And hone her skills of manipulation.

I know some may read this and recoil.

Yes.

My daughter is a trip.

Yes.

Her behavior (at times) is buck wild dingo-ish.

But know this.

Asha Ming will rule the world.

And you’ll all have me to thank.

And Robert Greene.

Facebook changes (again). But this time it’s not horrible.

Here we go again.

Facebook is (once again) changing it’s homescreen.

Over the past few days, you might have heard chatter on the interweb about Facebook’s new UI (user interface).

One day soon, the Facebook you know will be no more.

Soon billions of Facebook users will be forced to (once again) re-learn how to use it.

To be fair, Facebook let us use decipher Timeline for a hot minute now.

So I guess we shouldn’t complain.

Or be surprised that (once again) the look, feel and navigation of the Facebook homepage is entirely different from what it was yesterday.

Or the day before that.

Or the day before that.

If you haven’t seen if yet, here’s a snapshot with a hyperlink to the Facebook newsfeed page, where you can see it in living color (before the switch).

The new and improved Facebook?

To their credit…

Am I actually giving someone credit?

Facebook isn’t just ramming this change down it’s users’ butts throats desktops.

You’ve actually got to sign up to be added to their waiting list.

Perhaps they’ve learned that angry hoards of users with pitchforks and flaming torches isn’t a good thing.

Whatever the case, there is something more fundamental to Facebook’s latest planned switcharoo.

Money.

Sure, they’re pitching it as a way to see your friends’ stories presented in a cleaner more streamlined fashion.

Whatev!

It’s more about giving advertisers more real estate to hawk their wares.

I’m sure you’ve already noticed the sponsored stories from Classmates or Knitting Fever (or whomever) pop up in your news feed.

You know you didn’t like Romney for President, so WTF is this crap doing in your feed?

Facebook’s big fat greedy corporate money grubbing, that’s what.

This redesign is going to allow Facebook to leverage it’s billion plus membership all the way to the bank.

Zuckerberg’s momma didn’t raise no fool.

Again, to their credit…

There I go again! I must be getting soft in my old age.

Facebook put in some work on this redesign.

With the nice dock, cleverly tucked away on the side, the desktop version seems to have adopted the clean look and feel of the app.

I’ve been using the new Facebook app for a minute.

And it’s a pleasure.

It’s UI is clean and unobtrusive.

Unlike the desktop site.

But this redesign seems to have brought the efficiency of the app to the desktop.

I wonder if they’ve got the whole swiping thing down too?

Ya know what I’m talking about right?

If you swipe the screen of the Facebook app on the iPhone, left or right, you reveal the menu or your friends?

Pardon the digression.

Some surmise that Facebook will offer users the choice between switching to the new homepage design or sticking with Timeline.

But I doubt it.

Anywho, if you didn’t know this change was coming, now you know.

So don’t be actin’ all indignant when you log in one day, and the Facebook you once knew is no more.

Adventures in Yoga Teacher Training - Leaving Room for Maybe

Reblogged from Oneika's Yoga Life:

Maybe. It’s a word that used to annoy me. It seemed so non-committal.

Until recently.

Before the start of yoga class our teacher said something so eye opening that I could feel my heart swell in my chest. She said that if we could, ‘leave room for maybe’. That if we can leave room for maybe anything is possible. It’s a space that we can open up with that word might only be flicker.

Read more… 245 more words

Yoga (and non-yoga) practitioners, check out my girl Oneika's insightful blog!

A world without internet sucks. Sandy proves that Revolution is real.

I’ve been holed up at the Holiday Inn Express for the past few days.

Note to self: NEVER stay at a Holiday Inn Express again.

After almost 24 hours in the dark, I can’t begin to tell you how thankful I am for heat, electricity and potable water.

But you know what I’m really grateful for?

The internet.

Wifi specifically.

When Sandy first hit creating the blackout and taking out my internet, I thought I’d be fine.

Both my phones were 4G LTE and my iPad was a 3G.

Who needs wifi?

But Sandy’s devastation took out cell towers too.

And my sanity with them.

If you thought making calls was challenging, getting on the internet using a cellular signal was virtually impossible.

If you could access the internet, trying to get anything to download was like Chinese water torture.

We’re not even going to talk about what this was doing to battery life.

I found myself despairing for lack of connectivity.

How would I survive?

Woe is me!!

Luckily there was a vacancy at the HIE, and I found my salvation.

But others were not so lucky.

As I turned on the boob tube, I saw Sandy’s true devastation.

Breaking news stories talked about people’s desperate attempts to keep their devices powered.

One station talked of one boy’s ordeal trying to get uptown to a charging station.

A charging station?

With no buses or subways running, there was little he could do.

He offered his two drained and useless devices, like Christ showing his crucifixion wounds to wary disciples, as proof.

Noooooooo!

I could watch no more.

I quickly turned the channel to reruns of the King of Queens.

That Kevin James is a hoot.

A world without electricity?

Sure you’re right.

What…are we going to descend into lawlessness?

Fight at gas pumps, loot empty stores and homes, and run amuck in the streets?

Wait a minute…

Who would have thunk that the creators of Revolution were really onto something?

It’s official. I. Love. Apple. Ode to the iPhone 5.

I’ve been fronting for days now.

“iOS 6 ain’t all that.” I barked.

“iPhone 5 sucks.” I spewed.

I’ve been disparaging Apple because I was on the outside looking in.

Looking over shoulders as folks updated their iPhones to the latest iOS.

Silently coveting the first arrivals of iPhones in the office.

Oh yeah, as throngs waited outside Apple stores across the united states, several shiny new iPhone 6s were delivered to select big dogs at my office.

It was all I could do not to knock a sucka down and run screaming out of the office with someone’s new phone.

If you haven’t actually seen a iPhone 5 in the wild, let me be the first to tell you…

It’s beautiful.

Sure, I disparaged it when I was just looking at pictures.

Yeah, I had nothing but jokes as I reviewed the ‘new’ features (that many have rightly noted exist in other devices well before Apple decided to incorporate them into the iPhone).

But when I first held it in my hands…

I was truly something to behold.

I was lighter, without being insubstantial.

Unlike the Samsung SIII, which feels like a toy, the iPhone 5 feels like a quality piece of hardware.

It’s still the same width as it’s predecessors, so you can still rock off with one hand.

But it’s thinner, which means it slides into and out of your pockets with ease.

I spent only a few minutes with it yesterday, but I knew I had to have it.

So I talked to IT, who told me to cop the iTunes Store app, confirm I was eligible for an upgrade, and place my order.

I was eligible for the upgrade.

I placed my order.

3-4 weeks is what the Apple app spit back.

3 to 4 weeks!

I consoled myself with the knowledge that stores were probably going to be sold out for weeks on end, and 3 or 4 weeks wasn’t really a long wait.

But it was a lie.

It was a lie I told myself over and over as I rocked myself to sleep, weeping with longing.

And then I went to visit my mom and dad in Ewing, where I happened upon my younger brother, Celestine, sporting a shiny new iPhone 6!

I suppressed my initial desire to bonk him on the head, caveman style, and run out of the house, screaming like a mad man with his iPhone clutched in my sweaty palms – confusion (and a dazed younger brother) in my wake.

“Where’d you get that?”

“I know people.

WTF! You know people?

Muthaf…I oughta…

“No seriously…”

“Come on. Let’s go for a ride.”

One hour later, I was holding my own shiny new iPhone 5.

It’s white.

It’s a piece of art.

And I’ve lovingly encased it in a rugged Otter.

I’ve only had my phone for a few hours, and its surreal.

I never knew you could love an inanimate object.

But I do.

Call me a fanboy if you will.

But call me a fanboy with an iPhone 5.

Note: I was a little ahead of myself and previously referred to the iPhone 6.

Well eff you then! iOS 6 ain’t all that anyway! A review, of sorts

After a much awaited…uh…wait, yesterday, iOS 6 finally arrived.

Everyone in the office with an iPhone broke out their joints and copped the update.

Everyone except your boy, that is.

You see, long ago, I became a Jailbreak disciple.

And the first rule of Jailbreaking is that you never automatically update your OS.

Updating a jail broken phone without first acquiring the secret sauce to preserve your jailbreak, renders it obsolete.

So there was no updating anything until my crew had successfully implemented a jailbreak for it.

Consequently, I watched curiously, from the sidelines, as others eagerly updated their devices.

Like giddy children, they clutched their iPhones and sat through the (painstakingly long) process of getting the update to their devices.

Unblinking, they sat, eyes glued to their screens as slowly (oh so slowly), the progress bar made it’s way across the screen.

Muffled gasps escaped their lips, as the updates completed and they were presented with the shiny new iOS 6 welcome screen.

Wide-eyed, they stepped through the balance of the set up wizard.

Apple Id sign-in. Check.

Location services. Enabled.

Set up complete!

But wait!

What’s this?

There’s more stuff to update?

iBooks, Map, Calendar, Address Book…

Well okay…

More updates.

More wide eyes.

The anticipation was palpable.

And then…

The same old home screen.

No…no…

Wait! What do I spy?

Passbook?

What is this passbook?

Is this the thingamajiggy that lets you store all you loyalty cards and accounts?

Whoa! Somebody’s all fancy schmancy!

Is that a…

A new map!

Stop the presses!

Hmmm…interesting, no navigation dock or buttons on the bottom…it’s all map!

And they’ve re-arranged the buttons behind the map, how nice.

I wonder how turn-by-turn works…

Dude, who’s calling you?

What?!!

There are updates to the phone too!

In addition to “Accept” and “Decline” buttons there’s a little phone icon, that pulls up a bunch of options.

Don’t want to take a call, now you can (politely) tell the caller to piss off!

What will they think of next?

Ummm…you can hit “decline” now.

I’m done with this update.

Was? (“What” indignantly, for my German-challenged)

Is that a slight tint to the color of the status bar I see?

Those sly devils!

Hold on…don’t put it away quite yet…

What are you doing?

I haven’t finished reviewing iOS 6…

There’s no need to get back to work…

The clients can wait…

What about Siri?

And all the other stuff?!

What about all the other stuff!

C’mon! Don’t put your phone away!

Why you gotta be like that?

You’re right.

I shouldn’t be breathing all down your neck.

I didn’t even realize I was drooling.

Don’t worry, it won’t stain…

And you could have just told me I was wolfing…

Anyone got an Altoid?

Seriously, my eleventeen readers need this review!

Well eff you then!

iOS 6 ain’t all that anyway!

And you have dandruff!

Note: What you’ve just read was pure nonsense. If you want a real review (albiet a self-serving one) check out the What’s New in iOS 6 page at Apple. And for a step-by-step walk through to update your iPhone or iPad to iOS 6, check CNET’s insightful article.

The Samsung Galaxy S III is no iPhone, but it isn’t (all that) bad.

I’m not the kind of person who stays blindly entrenched in a position just so I’ll never have to admit that I’m wrong.

So it is without reservation that I state that the Samsung Galaxy S III, which I just got the other day, isn’t that bad.

It’s no iPhone, to be clear, but it is a feature rich, fairly simple to use device.

I got the SIII from the job.

I wasn’t about to buy that ish with my own money.

And I’ve picked it up, here and there, over the past few days.

Although I’m no expert, by any means, I can share you with my initial pros and cons.

Pros

Massive Screen. The screen on this thing rivals the screens on a few net books I’ve seen. Makes for really good video viewing.

Fast. I can’t front, swiping between screens, calling up apps, navigating the web…everything feels so fast.

It’s a 4G phone so I’m not surprised, but damn!

It could just be that new toy joy I’m feeling.

Like after you wash your car.

Doesn’t it feel like its faster?

Is it just me?

Google power. One thing that the S III does, hands down better than any other smart phone I’ve used to date, is integrate seamlessly with Google.

Contacts? Sucked in no time flat.

Search? Right on the home screen.

Maps? Fuggedaboutit!

Cons

Flimsy. When I first took the S III out of the box, put the battery in and replaced the backplate, I felt like I was handling a toy, not a high end smart phone.

The phone is so diaphanous that I’m scared to put it down, or in my pocket, or let it frolic among the other kids on the playground.

If you’re going to rock the S III, might I suggest a case for it, lest it shatter like delicate glass.

Strange UI. Having been an iPhone user for the past five years, I’m just so used to the iOS user interface that anything else seems…foreign.

Trying to understand how to navigate the various screens, settings, and buttons makes me feel like I’m learning a new language.

I’ve seen other Android users baffled by the UI, so I know I’m not alone. There are so many different options that it’s easy to be flummoxed.

Small buttons. I’m not really checking for the Chiclet-sized keys on the S III’s keyboard.

The predictive word completion is nice, but not when you’re typing fast and are presented with options that are nothing close to your intended word.

I felt like a Neanderthal with this thing. I’ve been reduced to meticulously typing each letter to avoid striking the wrong key and sending long strings of garbled nonsense in texts or emails.

But like I said, I’ve only had the S III for a couple of days.

Today is the first day I really went in.

I suspect my attitude towards it will soften (or harden) after I’ve lived with it for a while.

So check back for an update!

The Olympics are here. Feeling patriotic?

I’m going to start by saying I’m an Olympics junkie.

Since the start of the Olympics, I watch everything and anything that’s on.

Even though I could give a flying fart about synchronized diving, water polo, rowing, trampoline and a host of other innocuous sports, whenever the Olympics come around, suddenly these sports start to…matter?

Not matter.

They don’t really matter.

The day after the Olympics game conclude, they will cease to have any relevance and fade back into obscurity.

I mean really, who really cares about water polo?

Or trampoline?

When the heck did friggin trampoline become an Olympic sport anyway?

And when did the US get a team?

When did any country, for that matter?

I digress.

My point is that during the Olympics we care…deeply…about sports, in a way that doesn’t jibe with who we really are.

During the Olympics, we sit, eyes glued to the television set, as the <respective country of origin or allegiance here> Olympic <innocuous sport name here> team goes for gold.

We cheer when our Olympic sports heros qualify, win, get a high score, set an Olympic record or personal best.

We moan when our heros are out-touched at the finish, fail to qualify or come in fourth.

During the two-and-a-half weeks of the Olympics, we experience a range of emotions that can only be attributable to one thing: patriotism.

That’s right.

I said it.

We care because we are p-a-t-r-i-o-t-i-c.

And I’m not talking the flag-on-your-car antennae type either.

I’m talking about the full-fledged, screaming-at-your-tv, sweaty palms, sitting on the edge of your seat with anxiety patriotism that only the Olympics can bring out.

Two-time Olympic shot put champ.

When Tomasz Majewski won gold in the shot put, Polish people worldwide went crazy.

Baby got her braces off!

When Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce won the 100 meter dash, Jamaican’s across the globe lost it.

He’s more dominant than the Albatros!

When Michael Phelps achieved Olympic greatness with 22 Olympic medals, Americans blew their collective load.

“Why?” you ask.

Is it because Tomasz Majewski is such a stud?

Or because every country wants bragging rights to the 100 meter dash?

Or perhaps because we all see a little of ourselves skimming along the surface of an Olympic sized pool?

No. No. And no.

It’s because for that brief period of time we are all united under a flag.

The collective cheer that erupts when an athlete achieves Olympic gold is a shared moment of nationalistic triumph.

That medal count.

The national anthem.

All things which touch that patriotic nerve.

But soon, the cheers will fade.

The crowds will disperse.

The Olympic village will empty.

So <fill in the name of your country here>, enjoy it while it lasts.

When the last medal has been awarded and the Olympics come to an end, we’ll be jaded, once again.

And go right back to hating our countries.

Cheers, mate!

The Tech Gap: An Infographic

This weekend, I received an unsolicited email asking me to share an infographic which examined the state of the tech industry.

The infographic was titled “Is Tech Racist?” and provided several compelling statistics in an effort to answer the question.

One statistic highlighted the disparity in funding between black and white-founded startups.

The median amount of funding internet startups received in the US differed drastically, with white internet startups receiving $2.3 million, and black internet startups receiving $1.3 million.

Asian startups received about $4 million, dwarfing both white and black internet start ups, and mixed raced startups received about $2.2 million in start up capital.

The infographic also highlighted the percentage of internet startups founded by race.

87% of internet startups were founded by whites, 12% by Asians and only 1% were founded by Blacks.

There were other statistics, examining different aspects of the tech industry, providing compelling support for the position that the tech world, in general, excludes people of color.

Rather than continuing to summarize the data, here’s the infographic in full.

Infographic

Since I hadn’t necessarily intended to start of the week talking about the state of the tech industry from the perspective of race, I decided to do a little research to see if there were any contemporary discussions on the topic.

Most of what I found was from 2010, after CB Insights, a private investment research firm, published a report on online startup companies.

The Network Journal published an article examining the disparity, as did a number of other publications, but the issue doesn’t seem to have any current coverage (aside from the fact that this disparity still exists).

In an effort to get a better understanding of why the infographic had been prepared, I reached out to Jenn Ghee (who forwarded it to me) to get some context, but I haven’t heard back.

I’ll be sure to update you, in the event she does.

But what do you think about this?

Is this an issue that concerns you?

Are there any strategies for closing this gap?

If you’ve got a perspective, I’d love to hear it.