UPDATE: Funk Flex is so digital. And so mobile too.

FunkMaster Flex is one of the most widely recognized DJs in the world.

He’s an on-air personality and radio icon whose name is synonymous with New York.

He has broken a slew of records and established innumerable artists.

His ‘bomb drops’ are the virtual equivalent of a platinum plaque.

If Flex drops a bomb on your record, you’ve made it.

Flex is not just a master of the airwaves.

He’s also recognized as a serious car enthusiast.

Flex is a staple at car shows.

His passion for cars rivals that of Jay Leno.

But what I find intriguing about him, is his digital game.

When it comes to online and social media, Flex is not to be trifled with.

In fact, he frequently states “I’m so digital NY,” on his daily slot on Hot 97 FM.

With over 687,000 Twitter followers, almost 67,000 likes on Facebook, and over 166,000 followers on Instagram, his digital footprint is impressive.

And now, it appears that he’s crossed yet another threshold.

Mobile.

On Wednesday, Funk Flex dropped the FunkMaster Flex iPhone app.

Having previously announced the release of DJ Rich Medina’s app a few months ago, I was curious to see what Flex was coming with.

So I went to the App Store and downloaded it.

At first blush, it seems like a fairly simple app.

The home screen alternates between images of Flex, black t-shirt clad, hat to back, pointing menacingly at the camera.

Atop his image sits his familiar red FMF logo.

At the very bottom of the screen is a music player, featuring a play/pause and fast forward buttons, and short description/title of what’s playing.

Between the image of Flex and the music player, sits a clever little carousel.

With icons that allow you to navigate to the various other features of the app.

There are sixteen such little icons.

Which makes this simple seeming app, not so simple after all.

Indeed, the app is, as Flex likes to say, “a beast.”

First of all, it’s chock full of music.

In addition to the music player on the home page, tapping the Music icon takes you to even more pages of music.

Flex gives you instrumentals, remixes, mix tapes and songs for days.

And it’s not just Flex’s stuff either.

Cats like Swizz Beats, Timbaland, the Neptunes, Just Blaze, Pete Rock and others have blessed Flex’s app with some well known (and obscure) instrumentals.

Selecting the grid in the top left corner navigates you back to the home page.

From there, features like Pictures or Videos, transport you deeper into Flex’s world.

There’s also a Store feature, which is kinda wack because its the full HTML site on the phone.

But aside from that, there are other fan specific features that make it a cool app.

Now, you must know, I’m no fan of Flex.

If you peep his show, he’s a bully.

He regularly clowns other DJs and basically talks smack.

Considering how long he’s been in the game, you’d imagine he would have matured and achieved a more elevated mindset.

Not so much.

Ego is a bitch.

The day I downloaded the app, I was incredulous.

FunkMaster Flex has an app?

I couldn’t accept it.

So I did a lil’ digging and the app is really just a template.

Almost indistinguishable from at least twelve other apps developed by Salcedo Mobile.

Salcedo has created DJ apps for a host of lesser-known Spanish (or is the correct term Hispanic?) DJs.

They took the meat of the app – all those wonderful features – and reskinned it for Flex.

So while the app is still quite dope, it’s not original.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Says Stephen sarcastically.

I’ve got to give Flex credit though, because the app is dope.

And selecting Salcedo Mobile as his developer sets the bar high for other DJs interested in getting into the app game.

Props aside, one thing noticeably absent from the release of Flex’s app: promo.

Outside of hearing the announcement, there’s no mention of the app anywhere.

If you Google it, nada.

Check InFlexWeTrust.com, nada.

Even if you visit the developer’s site, it’s not listed among their portfolio of apps.

But I’m sure that Flex’s loyal fans will get the word out, so that may be all the promotion it needs.

UPDATE: As of Wednesday, April 17, exactly one week after the release of the DJ Funk Flex app, the app is number 11 (free iPhone music apps) in the App Store.

Funk Flex has some loyal fans.

Let’s YO! ain’t your daddy’s ice cream shop.

What do you get when you combine flat screen televisions, branded social media feeds, table top iPads and frozen yogurt?

Let’s YO! that’s what.

Let’s YO! Yogurt is an all natural frozen yogurt franchise, known for its innovative use of in-shop social media.

They serve a dizzying array of whacked out flavors of frozen yogurt (about 80 of them), in what has to be the hippest ice cream parlor you’ll ever see.

Let’s YO! is apparently a growing phenomenon.

What started off at a few spots in 2011 has grown to over 30 in just a few years, with locations in Manhattan, Brooklyn and New Jersey.

This weekend I took my kids to their Montclair location.

It’s part ice cream shop, part hang out spot, and part arcade.

Let’s YO! is a self-serve ice cream shop, which allows you to make your own cone, cup or sundae.

There’s a big board at the start of your DIY journey, which outlines the simple steps for building your unique frozen masterpiece.

Once you’ve selected your flavors, you can add toppings.

With everything from rainbow sprinkles and M&Ms, to granola and rice crispies, it’s an ice cream aficionados dream.

But the pièce de résistance is unquestionably the iPads mounted to the tabletops through the shop.

Connected to the TV screens, the iPads allow customers to share their experience through social media both inside and out of the store.

My kids eyes bugged out of their heads as we sat to enjoy their cavity-inducing creations, and they noticed the iPads on each table.

Secured in landscape orientation behind green protective casing, the iPads were loaded with a buttload of games and entertainment apps.

The fixed orientation was great for games best played in landscape mode.

Not so much for portrait-only games.

The kids could have cared less about the fixed orientation and lost themselves in gameplay.

I was appalled at the grubby home buttons or sticky screens but I didn’t let it get the best of me.

Does Purell make wipes?

At the end of the day, Let’s YO! is a modernized take on the Carvel, Baskin-Robbins and Ben & Jerry’s scoop shops of old.

Need to do dirt? Get you a Burner (app).

When Techcrunch, Engadget and Gizmodo all talk about the same thing on the same day, my Spidey-senses start tingling.

So you can imagine the buzzing in my head reading about the release of Burner for Android today.

Don’t want to call your ‘herbologist‘ mom from your regular phone?

Can’t remember if the girl you copped that number from last night was cute (or not)?

Girlfriend mad at you and not responding to your texts?

Take no chances.

Burner is the solution for all that (telephonically) ails you.

The Burner app let’s you spoof your mobile phone number.

Instead of seeing your real number in the caller ID or as the source of a text message, your callers/text recipients see your Burner number instead.

Genius!

I took Burner for a spin and hit up my herbologist mom.

Getting set up was a cinch.

I downloaded the app from the App Store, entered my phone number and got an SMS with a verification code.

Once I plugged in the code, accepted the Ts&Cs and waited a few seconds, I was in.

Burner works off credits, which dictate how long your Burner number lasts.

Hence ‘burner’.

On the low end, there’s the Mini burner, which lasts 7 days, or 20 minutes talk time or 60 texts.

At the other end of the spectrum, there’s the Large or Long burner, which lasts 60 days, or 75 minutes talk time or 225 texts.

But you get a sample Burner right off the bat.

I’m not sure how much credits cost, but the next time I need to call my herbologist mom, I’ll let you know.

That’s my Burner number.

Feel free to give me a call or send me a text.

It’s a burner, so don’t sleep. The number will be gone tomorrow!

Need to do dirt? Get your Burner (app) on!

‘Bug fix’ is not an update. Develop your app voice.

As someone who deals regularly in apps, I’ve seen quite a few in my day.

I’ve dealt with my share of crappy apps.

That were buggy and jankalicious.

Jankalicious: the condition of being inferior or dilapidated.

Chock full of unnecessary features and functions.

Or just downright useless.

On the flip side, I’ve beheld loads of well designed apps.

That seamlessly blend form with function.

Buttons and navigation built with adult humans in mind.

And not wee-fingered halflings.

And don’t require a PhD or savant to figure out how to use them.

But both good and bad apps have something in common.

Every once in a while, they require a fix.

Or an update to improve speed or performance.

Or a tweak to make them more compatible with an updated OS.

I’m sure you’ve noticed the counter in the top right corner of the App Store icon on your iPhone.

Alerting you to updates available for the apps you’re rocking.

If you’re like me, you ‘Update All’ without thinking about it.

The behavior is so rote by now, that most of us don’t read the ‘What’s New’ copy accompanying any of these releases.

We take it for granted that we need whatever the update is.

So we download it.

We’re not going to spend the precious few seconds required to read what the update is actually for.

Before my Jailbreak, I’d ‘update all’ without a moment’s hesitation.

I typically ignored the ‘What’s New’ text, which (should have) spelled out what was bundled in the update.

Usually, it was some generic ‘Bug fixes’ language that gave no further info about the nature and extent of the fix.

But since it was a fix…

Today, though, I broke with tradition and read the ‘What’s New’ section.

I wanted to see what tinkering was taking place under the hood.

There were three updates: HopStop (Transit Directions for iPhone), Square (Register) and Basecamp (Official App).

I was curious to see which of these brands used their update to provide comprehensive information about how their app was being improved or what exactly it was they had fixed.

And who was just faking the funk.

HopStop was, by far, the most informative.

Not only did they tell me exactly what was new, but also that I’d need to upgrade to iOS 6+ in order to take advantage of the new features.

Basecamp was the next most informative.

Their ‘What’s New’ update informed me about support for Basecamp Classic (it’s about time!), and had a few quick blurbs about the specific bug fixes included in the version.

Square the least informative.

Their’s was the bland ‘various bug fixes.’

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Square, you make me sick.

Most brands are like Square and completely miss the opportunity to truly inform their users about what’s going on.

Their’s is usually a cut-and-paste job of some developer’s uninsightful version-controlled update republished to their users.

It’s rubbish.

Now, when I see ‘Bug fixes’ as an update, I automatically think ‘lazy brand’.

Best practices dictates that when there’s an update to your app, you provide the salient details of that update to your users.

‘Bug fixes’ is simply too generic to be useful.

If a user was experiencing a bug with your app and got that update, there would be no way for them to determine whether your ‘Bug fix’ was the one they’d observed or something entirely different.

More importantly, it completely flubs the chance to connect with the user and turn them into informed brand evangelists.

So <brand who uses ‘Various bug fixes’ to describe updates to your app> know that you’re doing yourself a grave disservice by not providing more substantive updates.

Don’t your users deserve more?

Note: I’ve got to give credit to one of my pseudonymous colleagues, Mr. Kate Moss, who urged me to write this point to address something we routinely observe.

Facebook Home? NOMHS (Not On My Home Screen)

You’ve heard of NIMBY?

The acronym that stands for Not In My Back Yard?

It was coined by residents of towns and municipalities protesting attempts to place waste processing facilities and other similarly undesirable development close to them.

Well Facebook’s latest initiative, Home, intends to place a “takeover” app on your phone that would essentially make Facebook your default home screen.

The Facebook Home family of apps would replace the standard home screen of an Android user with an “immersive Facebook experience” that includes Facebook status updates from your friends, Facebook notifications and full screen photographs.

Facebook Home would essentially allow you to push all your Facebook-related content permanently to your phone’s home screen, giving you the ability to make Facebook your go-to app for all things social.

The centerpiece of the Facebook Home app is the ability to chat and message with your friends without having to navigate away from whatever you’re doing on your phone at the time.

The Chat Heads feature (who names this shit?) displays the face of the person attempting to message you, allowing you to immediately pull up and respond to the chat thread, without skipping a beat.

Tap the head, post your response, and you’re off.

Nifty right?

Wrong!

Facebook’s Home is a handsome Trojan Horse.

They have been talking Facebook Phone for a minute, getting everyone all hot and heavy, thinking Facebook was about to get into the handset game.

But they pulled a switcheroo and dropped Home instead.

Essentially giving Facebook the benefit of another massive installed user base, with none of the heavy lifting involved in creating a phone from scratch.

By piggybacking on the Android operating system, which is already Facebook friendly, Home gives Android users (aka suckas) the chance to spend every waking hour with Facebook.

Without having to open and close the app to do so…

Because its always on.

Will the wonders of time wasting technology never cease?

While folks debate whether Facebook will use their new app to push more advertising or not (yes they will)…

Or whether Facebook will use their app to collect data on users or not (yes they will)…

I take solace in the fact that this foolishness is Android only.

Apple is not so enamored with Facebook that they’d give up all that precious real estate to an app.

I won’t have to worry about the time (and battery) black hole drain it will invariably cause.

And I’m sorry, Facebook simply isn’t that important.

Facebook Home? Not on my home screen. Bitches!

Screen Free Angela at a theater near you with Tugg.com!

Last night I attended the world theatrical premier of Free Angela at the Schomburg Center in Harlem.

The room was packed with Hollywood and entertainment luminaries including Will and Jada Smith, Ruby Dee, Sonia Sanchez, Amiri Baraka, Harry Belafonte, Hakim Green, and Common, to name but a few.

Along with about 150 others, we watch rapt, as two tumultuous years of Angela Davis’ life, and an equally tumultuous period for Black people in America, played out on the big screen.

The Director, Shola Lynch, used Free Angela to transport viewers into events that my generation was too young to remember, but for many, represented a glimpse into the not too distant past.

Where the struggle for equal rights, equal treatment under the law, and equal opportunity was a daily, hard fought one.

Where the assassinations of Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, and Martin Luther King, Jr., were still freshly etched on the Black psyche.

Where the Black Panthers stood not for militants, but rebellion against the oppressive discriminatory treatment of people of color worldwide.

But the story of Free Angela is not, I repeat NOT about Black people – lest my white readership be shook.

It’s about how this relatively unknown intellectual became a global icon and one of the most recognizable figures of her era.

It’s the story of the lengths the government went to capture, arrest and try a woman they deemed a terrorist threat.

And the remarkable courage of a defense team, Angela Davis, and countless supporters worldwide fighting for her freedom and ultimate acquittal.

I’m just flapping my gums and not getting to the point…which is….

GO SEE FREE ANGELA AND ALL POLITICAL PRISONERS!

The movie comes out this Friday, April 5th to select AMC theaters nationwide.

I say “select theaters” because its a documentary.

And as such, it’s not gong to get the same theatrical run as say, G.I. Joe, or Jackass or The Croods.

You know, quality theatrical fare.

So you may not find it at a theater near you.

But if you don’t see it in your local movie listings, all is not lost!

You can Tugg it!

What’s Tugg?

It’s like on-demand at theaters.

Tugg lets you bring the movies you want to see to theaters in your area by arranging screenings.

Through the Tugg.com website, you can request that a movie be screened at your local theater.

Using Tugg is an easy four-step process:

1. Request a screening. Let the folks at Tugg know that you want to see Free Angela and they’ll set you up with the tools to get your screening on and popping.
2. Spread the word. Let your folks know that you’re bringing Free Angela to a local theater and to reserve their tickets. Tugg has all the social media plugs you’ll need to spread the word far and wide.
3. Meet the threshold. Step 2 is uber importante because if your folks don’t reserve enough tickets, the movie won’t be screened. And that would suck.
4. Enjoy the show. No explanation needed.

Now you’ve got to set up an account in order to user the service, but the minor inconvenience is well worth it.

And once you’ve created your event, all you’ve got to do is promote it to your peeps.

How simple is that?

Anyway, now you know Tugg, how to use it, and what you need to do if you can’t find Free Angela on Friday.

Please forgive my gushing like a schoolgirl earlier.

It might have been my proximity to all the superstars at the screening and after party at Red Rooster.

But Free Angela was dope.

So if there’s no local theater showing it, remember: Tugg it!

Mobile turns 40 today (at least the call does). An infographic.

Today is the 40th anniversary of the first mobile phone call ever placed.

So I thought it apropos to offer you this infographic, which highlights the milestones of smartphones and cellular communication.

It was created by Waypharer, and does a fairly good job walking you through the history of mobile.

I think it’s a bit long.

But interesting nonetheless.

I wanted to embed the joint right in here.

But the bloody embed code didn’t work (and I wasn’t willing to troubleshoot to figure out why).

So I chopped it up into pieces.

And since it is so friggin’ long, today I will spare you my blathering.

Cause if you don’t know that I’m a techno-head by now, you’re a lost cause and my precious words are wasted on you.

So without further ado..

If you want to see the full infographic, you can check it here.

Bitcoin. Currency for the real life Matrix.

Non-nerds be forewarned: I’m taking a deep dive into geekville.

I’m talking about Bitcoin, which, until this weekend, I had never heard of.

Mind you, I had heard rumors of a digital currency.

But I thought that they were talking micropayments, like buying coins in a Zynga game.

I never thought that there was an actual digital currency.

And people were using it for real life transactions.

So you can imagine my surprise Friday, when I read about Bitcoin in Techcrunch and realized that it was real.

Not only is digital currency real, Bitcoin transactions have eclipsed $1 billion.

That’s billion with a ‘B’.

Bitcoin is a decentralized digital currency based on an open-source, peer-to-peer internet protocol.

It’s been likened to PayPal, in that it’s an alternative money transfer system, which enables you to place secure transactions online.

Payers and payees send transactions to and from their wallets or Bitcoin websites without any intermediate financial institution.

Bitcoin’s transactions are secure because they use cryptography, the same technology used by larger online banking institutions.

Cryptography is just a fancy word for encryption.

But Bitcoin’s encryption technology utilizes an extremely complex mathematical formula that ensure the authenticity of each Bitcoin transaction.

Essentially, Bitcoin looks at a block of sequential transactions to determine if they are valid.

Bitcoin’s software records transactions in a log or “blockchain” stored across the peer-to-peer network every 10-minutes.

Subsequent transaction records make preceding transactions permanent parts of the blockchain.

Once Bitcoin receives six confirmed records or “blocks” a transaction is usually considered confirmed.

Bitcoin’s protocols makes it virtually impossible for cats to get over.

That means zero fraudulent transactions.

The reason Bitcoin is newsworthy is because it passed that billion dollar mark and now the Feds are trying to determine how to regulate it.

Bitcoin does not involve any traditional banking institutions and is completely exempt of regulations of any kind.

It is an ecosystem unto itself.

Whole communities have sprung up, transacting solely in Bitcoins.

In fact, you’ll find several sites sporting the Bitcoin logo, advertising the fact that they accept Bitcoin payments.

At this point, I’m sure many of you are scratching your heads, thinking, “what’s a Bitcoin?”

Recognizing the limited intellectual capacity of many of my readers, I’ve included a visual aid.

Next time we’ll examine the psychological implications of the blue pill red pill dilemma.

Please bring your marble notebooks.

American Idol. The so-so show with an over-the-top app.

I can’t speak for the rest of you, but I haven’t watched American Idol for years.

After 11 years of auditions, Hollywood highs and elimination lows, the show has lost whatever modicum of appeal it once held.

When Simon left, I knew the honeymoon was over.

No amount of judge musical chairs, worst-of reels or Nicki Minaj artificial booty bumps could change my mind.

Nevertheless, millions still tune in each season, making AI one of the highest rated shows on TV.

This year marks the twelfth season for the franchise.

The season’s highlights include a highly publicized cat fight between Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj, the return of a four judge panel and the American Idol app.

That’s right.

American Idol has an app.

And if you’re a fan of the show, you’re in luck.

The app launched in January (to coincide with the new season, I suppose).

They’re up to version 1.4, so they’ve been putting in work.

FYI – American Idol went all in, making it the most feature-filled app I’ve ever seen.

Literally.

Hands down.

Don’t believe me?

Check it.

The menu alone has 19 different menu items, excluding the Live Sync and Setting options.

Have you ever seen so many options?

They include Vote, AT&T Fan Choice, Idol VIP Sweeps, News, Video, Photos, etc.

With all these options, they’ve got the nerve to have a section called “Idol Extras” below the fold.

Extras?

American Idol has clearly never heard the expression “enough is enough” because they pour it on.

And not necessarily in a good way.

If you go to the home page, you’re presented with a layout that reminds me of the Windows Mobile UI with all those damn tiles.

Scary.

The main banner on the home page includes a countdown clock counting down the days, hours, minutes and seconds until the next show airs.

Underneath that are a repeating series of four grouped thumbnails, which let users navigate to different sections of the app.

An ad appears between each group of thumbnails peddling AT&T, contests and sweepstakes, and various AI branding and marketing messages.

There are feeds to the judges and contestants’ social media profiles, videos, and links to artist websites.

Keith Urban’s Light the Fuse Tour features prominently on the home page (judges need some artist love too!).

One of the more controversial elements of season twelve is the change in voting.

Where you used to be able to place votes one at a time for your favorite artist over the phone, online and via text, you can now place 50 votes at once through the app.

50 votes!

You can divy up those vote however you please for whomever you please.

The app does a good job of helping fans to manage this new power.

Last night, I didn’t actually watch the show, but I did watch the Top 8 Perform Recap video in the app.

It took forever to load – I had to quit the app and restart before I could actually watch it.

But I digress.

I placed my fifty votes and found the vote counter very useful for keeping track of how many votes I had placed and how many I had left.

The main landing pages of American Idol’s app feel like a Tumblr blog, with simple navigation.

Touch an image and it opens.

Simple.

But for all the content they’ve got, some pages seem like they were just thrown in with no rhyme or reason.

They lack the design sensibility and UI logic of the main pages.

The AT&T Fan Choice option for example, opens up a page of promotional offers that are clearly pulled straight from the web.

The content is resized to fit inside a mobile wrapper, but someone clearly didn’t think about how making lilliputian pages would impact the text and the navigation.

There are a bunch of other pages and features that I won’t get into, because I found the app exhausting.

My biggest peeves with many apps, including this one, is that they do too much.

When it comes to apps, less is more.

Unless you’ve got ADD.

I’d rather see an app do a few things really well, then a butt load of things so-so.

And while the Voting feature is crown jewel of the American Idol app, it doesn’t save it from being a hot mess.

At the end of the day, if you’re reeeaaaallllyyyy into Idol (and you have ADD), then I’m sure you’re love the app.

Everyone else, not so much.

American Idol had the right idea, but (unfortunately for we non-American Idol fans) their execution leaves much to be desired.

Bend over. Lululemon’s customer service fail.

Lululemon wants to see your bum.

I’ll be brief.

Actually, I’ll be a pair of (recalled) Lululemon Luon yoga pants.

A see-through pair to be exact.

This morning I heard a story so outrageous, so thoroughly implausible, I knew it was a prank.

I wasn’t watching a major news network.

It must have been The Onion.

And the story was a gag.

But as I listened and watched the familiar newscasters report on the story, I realized the story was real.

And Lululemon was making perhaps the worst customer service gaffe in history.

Apparently the Luon, a pair of high-priced yoga pants made by Lululemon, were defective.

If you bent over while wearing them (as you inevitably will in yoga) the pants become sheer and see through.

I assume your exposed pantaloons are not one of the chakras you’re trying to open.

When customers tried to return these defective pants, store clerks made customer put the pants on…

And BEND OVER!

Purportedly, this requirement for a return was sanctioned by Lululemon’s CEO, Christine Day, who said:

“[T] truth of the matter is that the only way that you can actually test for the issue is to put the pants on and bend over.”

As one reporter wrote “asking customers to publicly debase themselves is the surest way of ensuring repeat business.”

The backlash has been instantaneous and unanimous: Lululemon is bugging.

Maybe asking customers to try on a defective article of clothing in-store before you can return it is kosher in Canada.

So they didn’t fully appreciate how folks in America would be offended or taken aback.

Clearly their heads were up their arses.

Perhaps they never heard the expression, “the customer is always right.”

But whatever the case may be, Lululemon made a massive faux pas.

It’s likely going to cost them more than the reported $60 million in lost sales and revenue.

The impact to their reputation can’t be fully quantified.

If the chatter on social media is any indication, it’s serious.

Now I’m not a yoga person.

But I’ll be damned if I drop 100 bones for some friggin pants.

And if I was, and I had, you best believe that I’d have gotten my money back without trying them on.

If I bent over, it would have only been to pass gas as an expression of my malcontent – NOT to prove the pants were see through.

However, the way I would have handled the situation isn’t at issue here.

It’s the way Lululemon mis-handled it.

I’m curious to see how Lululemon makes this right with their customers and fans.

Might I suggest a massive give-back campaign?

If you own any Lululemon product you’re not happy with, even if its not the Luon pants, bring it back to any Lululemon store and we’ll replace it.

No questions asked.

No try-on required.

Lululemon, Christine Day, get at me.

I’m here all week.

I’ll be the dude in downward facing dog with my man package exposed in your see-though pants.